| I need a fresh start, I'm going to do things this time.
All the work that I have put into getting to where I was, I let go of. I need to get myself together.
I need to be happy, I need to be in control.
I'm going to make it.
Starting off with a fast. 12:36
48 hours.
I can and will do this.
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| I'm back guys:]
not only have i gained massive amounts of weight but,
i moved in august, started school in august.....
i hate it down here, i am miserable...i left the guy i love in ohio and were trying the long distance thing, but he doesn't talk to me hardly ever anymore....
I don't have any friends down here, and i got a speeding ticket on tuesday. joy.
then theres this guy down here i've been talking to and on thanksgiving we confessed we both had feelings for eachother. We decided to hang out friday. He kept telling me he couldn't wait to see me and hold me in his arms, he even asked if he could kiss me when we hung out. well i went over and we cuddled and watched movies and when i was leaving he walked me to the car and we just hugged for a while and i kissed him!
and now he's ignoring me.
i don't know what to do anymore, i really like him.
he's pretty much all i think about, the butterflies and he makes me smile like a fckn moron..
help?
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| well ive definitely gained weight.
fatass fo sho.
im somewhere between 150 and 154.
shit. and schools gonna be starting soon.
got my drivers license, so im a fatass driver now.
but seriously i can drive without my mom now haha.
i need to lose weight like now.
fucking nasty.
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| "
I
don't know who I’ve become since that November day when I said I
wouldn't change. And maybe I can't be surprised. Take my hands; I can
twist out lines for every situation. All I have is a heart that's
trained to calculate my losses in the end."
well, i officially work at burger king:] i start early next week. the only thing is i' m only going to work 1 week before i have to put my 2 week notice in. rofl.
i've driven with an instructor 2 times now. only 2 more to go!! just think in 3 weeks im going to be a licensed driver and in a month i'll be living in north carolina.
today i realized how much i truly need to lose weight. i feel so disgusting right now. My weights been fluctuating between 146 and 149 :[ i can't find a balance. i want to be 135 at the most by the end of july and 125 at the most by the end of august. i'm kind of scared to buy any clothes for school though, because if i continue to lose weight they won't fit me and i always end up in that boat and for once i want clothes that fit me.
i do have a scale finally, got one saturday my moms friend bought me one cause i was complaining about not being able to tell what i weighed.
i dyed my hair, i think it looks horrible. it was suposed to come out brown with blonde highlights but i think it looks more freaking black with ugly yellowy highlights.
grossssss.
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| I had a job interview at burger king today.
I GOT IT!!
orientation is wednesday.
woot woot
ahhh i'm bloated and i think i've gained weight since i've been on my period.
ewhhhh
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